and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Who died my cat blue again?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
