she was so not down for the gang bang
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
