found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
