i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
