Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
