Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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