Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
