Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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