grandma shit on top of the toilet
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
