Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
