you would pick up someone in the library
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
