R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
