we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
