Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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