tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
