she was so not down for the gang bang
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
