I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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