We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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