bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
