There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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