you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
