i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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