Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
