Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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