what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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