I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
