My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
