i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
