Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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