in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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