Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
