I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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