i was born a porn star she said
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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