gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
