we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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