what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
