I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
