Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
