Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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