I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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