I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
