I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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