I just cut my nipple shaving
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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