I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
