Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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