Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
