i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
