Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
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