You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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