I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
