if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
