I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The adults are the big ones right?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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